Critical situation for my inner health, please help me ( sorry for the long post)?

Even if she is lying I think there is something about her that simply doesn't want to be with you...AT LEAST in terms of a serious relationship. I can't tell if her smiling is because she doesn't want to hurt your feelings or whether she is interested in something else. ALso, I get the sense that you are making all the moves lately. Why don't you back off a bit? She will wonder what is going on and probably come to talk to you.